Sisterhood of the Smelly Pants: The Fourth Summer
by grafiti rtk
Summary: OK, you know the rule that no one's supposed to wash the pants? Well, by the fourth year, they're bound to be really, REALLY dirty, right? I warn you, I know next to nothing about the Pants books, I just wrote this to be sort of funny.
1. Chapter 1: Peeu!

The Sisterhood of the Smelly Pants: The Fourth Summer

Summary: OK, you know the rule that no one's supposed to wash the pants? Well, by the fourth year, they're bound to be really, REALLY dirty, right?

A/N 1- Well, since I haven't read the second or third books in the series, I'm just going to make up stuff that happened then, OK? And, I also haven't read the first book in about 2 years, so I don't remember some of the plot details. And sorry if it's OOC, I don't remember what any of their characters are like.

A/N 2- By the way, tell me anything that happened in the 2nd or 3rd books, and you will die! Please don't spoil them for me!

A/N 3- Please review? Pretty pretty please?

Chapter One: Pee-u!

It was summer again. Tibby, Carmen, Lena, and Bridget were gathered together in Carmen's room. They were all going away later that day. Tibby was going to Rome, Carmen to France, Lena to California, and Bridget to Japan. They had gathered to take the pants out of the closet where they had been lying since last summer.

"Something's been smelling up my room", complained Carmen. "I don't have the faintest idea what."

"How long has it been there?", wondered Tibby.

"Since about last month."

Lena sniffed the air. "Yeah, something smells a little funky in here", she said.

"So, let's get the pants", said Bridget, as she threw the closet door open. The four girls simultaneously covered their noses with their hands.

"What _is _that?", exclaimed Tibby.

"I don't know," said Carmen, "but whatever it is, it smells _really _ bad."

"Um.. who wants to venture in and get the pants?"

The girls uniformly said, "Not me." They sat in silence for a few seconds, and then Carmen sighed.

"_I'll_ get it", she said. The others breathed sighs of relief. Carmen dug around in her closet for a while, trying not to smell the god-awful stench that was protruding from her closet. Several minutes later her hand touched something--

"-AAH! What is that? AAAAAAAA!" She instantly regretting having done this, because she forgot not to breathe through her nose, and the odor came back 10 times worse than before.

"What?", the others asked.

"Something. In my closet. Moldy, and slimy, and smelly, and DISGUSTING!"

The girls sat there and looked at each other. Bridget said, in a small voice, "Um.. I'll get it."

She reached into the closet, found the pants, and with a quick motion flung them on the floor of Carmen's room.

"Um..", she said, staring at the pants, which they were now all doing, "maybe we should've washed them."

"No, really", Lena said sarcastically.

The pants had not been washed once in the past four years, and it showed. They were covered in a thin layer of fuzz, parts of them were turning green, brown, and black, and they _reeked_. They reeked horrifically.

"So," Carmen said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the girls, "any volunteers for first person to get them this summer?"

So? Like it? Hate it? Think it's a pile of garbage? Let me know. Review! Also, tell me who you think should get the pants first, Tibby, Lena, Bridget, or Carmen.


	2. Chapter 2: Lena Gets the Pants

Disclaimer: (Sorry, forgot to put the disclaimer on the first chapter) I don't own The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

A/N--- Thanks for the suggestion of spending more time on the latter part of the chapter, Midnight-Pixie. I added a bit more stuff to it. And as for washing the pants better, I need them dirty for the rest of the story. You'll see later..

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

DarkenedEyes77- Thanks for reviewing! Yay people liked it!

Elephantsrocmysox- Yay more people liked it :-)

Riza-4789- Yeah, I plan to read them when I finish these other books that I'm in the middle of.

Caryl- OK, I'm going to go in the order from the first book. Yay people think it's funny :-)

MIDNIGHT-PIXIE- Yeah, I'm going to make them wash the pants.

nobody's listenin'- Well, you're probably not reading this, 'cause you obviously didn't like the first chapter, but I'll write this just in case you are. I appreciate your honesty. Most people would just not review if they didn't like a story, or lie and say that they did. Heck, that's what I would do. And, as Stan Laurel said, 'Honesty is the best politics.'

bellamegs- Sorry you didn't like it.

Spacegrace- Yay! More people think it's funny :-D

katmiester- Glad you liked it. I will read the other books in the series at some point, but I'm not gonna wait until then to write this fanfic. I mean, I'm not trying to make this a masterpiece or anything.. I'm just trying to make it funny, not accurate. Unless something HUGE happened in either the second or third book, like, I don't know, one of the girls dies or something, I don't think it'll really make much difference to this fanfic whether I know what happens in them or not.

Riza-4789- Glad you liked my second chapter : D

Chapter 2

The girls looked at Carmen as though she had just sprouted another head. "Are you crazy? We can't wear those pants! They're all moldy and gross!", said Tibby.

"I know," said Carmen, "but it's a tradition. (A/N- Tradition! Tradition! Do-de-do-do. Tradition! Tradition.. sorry, I have that song from Fiddler stuck in my head.)We've been doing it for three years already, we can't just stop doing it now. So, who wants them first?" There was a chorus of "not me"'s. "Well, _someone_ has to get them." There was a long pause. "Well, if no one's volunteering, then let's draw names out of a hat."

"Can't we at least wash them first?", said Lena.

"I guess we can.", said Carmen. "Not that I think it would do much, anyway. But we can try."

So, the girls went down to Carmen's basement, where the washing machine was. They put the pants in, put in some detergent, and pressed the 'on' button. They waited a half hour. They were waiting. Bridget said, "So, now that we're breaking the rule by washing them, are we allowed to say 'phat' while in the pants?"

Carmen, Lena, and Tibby gave Bridget a look. She quickly shut up.

A half-hour later, they took out the pants and put them in the drier. They waited another half-hour. Then the moment came, the moment that they had all been waiting for. They took the pants out of the machine. They looked at the pants. Most of the mold was gone, but they were still slightly discolored. They still reeked of mildew, but not _quite_ as bad as before. They could now make out little bits of the things that they had written about their previous summers.

"So," said Carmen, "let's pick a name out of a hat to see who's getting the pants first." So, the girls cut four slips of paper, and wrote their names upon them. They put them in a hat. Lena pulled out a slip of paper. She uncrumpled it, and read the name.

"Oh crap", she said. "Crap, crap, _crap_!"

"What? Who is it?", Bridget wanted to know.

She handed Bridget the scrap of paper, which had 'Lena' written on it.

"Oh", Bridget said.

"I don't want the pants!", Lena whined. "They're.. they're.. they're yucky!"

"Too bad", said Carmen. "You're taking them."

"NOOOO! Don't make me!"

"I know that they're still sort of moldy, but.. it's a tradition.. please Leny? Pleeeease?" At that point she gave Lena the puppy-dog eyes.

"Well", Lena began. "Sigh... I guess.. I guess I'll take them."

"Yay!", the other three girls said in unison. "Don't worry Lena, I'm sure you'll still look great in them. You always look great.", Carmen reassured her.

Lena smiled. "Thanks." Then she frowned. "The pants _are _kinda gross though.."

Tibby glared at Lena. "Just shut up! If you keep arguing, then nothing's gonna happen. And if nothing happens, then the readers will get bored. And if the reader's get bored... they might not review!"

Lena gasped. "Not review? No! No.. that can't happen.. I... I'll stop arguing and take the pants, I promise." (A/N- I know that whole thing was kind of stupid.. what am I saying, 'kind of'? It was really stupid, but I just needing to get her to stop arguing. Anyways, this is parody. I'm allowed to do stuff like that in parody, right? Of course right. I really have Fiddler on my mind tonight :-) )

They quickly forgot about that brief OOC moment, 'cause that's what characters do in parodies. They started talking about the exciting places that they were all going. They talked for quite a long time. Then Bridget glanced at her wristwatch. "Look at the time. I'd better get going."

"I'd better go too", said Tibby. "Bye."

"Me too", said Lena. The girls all gathered together for a group hug. "Bye," said Carmen, tearfully. "I'll miss you guys."

10 minutes later, they had all said their good-byes and were on their way to the airport. Lena had the pants in her suitcase, and was still thinking about how she did _not_ want them. But too bad for her.

If I take a while on the next chapter, I have to study for the math A regents, so I don't have that much time to write. Sigh.. regents are a pain in the neck.


	3. Chapter 3: The Plane Ride

Disclaimer: Let's see... I didn't own The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants last chapter, or the chapter before. Maybe this time-... no, I still don't own it. 

A/N- katmiester, You asked me, "Can pants mold?" I'm going to answer that with another question: Can one pair of pants fit four different girls with totally different builds? There you go. They're _obviously _magical pants. And of course magical pants can mold. Magical pants can do whatever the author needs them to do, right? Of course right.

DarkKittyGirlX – Glad you liked the story : D

Chapter 3: The Plane

Lena looked out of the scratched plexiglass window. She could see the town getting smaller and smaller. Then she was over the clouds, and could see the town no more. She was on her way to California.

She stared out the window for a while. Then she noticed the guy sitting next to her. How could she _not _notice him? He was H-O-T. She wouldn't be surprised if there were smoke coming out of him. She smiled to herself. This was going to be a fun plane ride.

"Hi there", Lena said, giving the man a sexy smile.

"Hello", he said in a flirtatious voice, returning the smile. "My name is Wolfe. What's yours?"

"Lena", she replied.

"Lena, eh? So, Lena, do you have a boyfriend?", he asked, smiling sexily. Lena was starting to like where this was going.

"No, I-", she started to say, but was interrupted.

"Wait-a-minute", Wolfe said. He sniffed the air. "What's that _awful_ smell?"

"What?", Lena said. She had been with the pants for so long that she had gotten used to the odor, and hardly smelt it anymore. "Oh," she finally said, in realization. "That smell is coming from my pants."

The way Wolfe looked at Lena, she might as well have said, "I come from a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse." (A/N- Sorry.. couldn't resist making a HG2G reference.) He coughed. "Excuse me," he said, giving her a small smile, "my friends are over there. I need to go sit with them." He hurried off to sit with his non-existent friends.

Lena sighed. It was going to be a loong trip.

Sorry. I know it was a short chapter. But, personally, I like short chapters better. Who wants to spend all of their time reading one really really long fan fiction? I don't.

The math regent is in 2 days, and technically, I should have been studying instead of writing, but.. oh well.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Guess what? I suddenly own The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants! Yay! I- oh wait, I still don't own it. Sigh

A/N- YES! I got a 92 on the math regent! Huzzah! And an 85 on the science regent! Yay!

**MIDNIGHT-PIXIE**- Glad you liked the story.. thanks for the luck.. I really needed luck- and lots of it. :D

**elephantsrocmysox- **lol.. I love Fiddler too. To life, to life, l'chaim. L'chaim, l'chaim, to life. And if our good fortune never comes, here's to whatever comes..

And yeah, that thing with the 'no one will review' was incredibly stupid.. but I'm too lazy to fix it. Oh well. And, longer chapters may be good, but only when the author writes really, really well. And I don't :-P

**spacegrace**- Thanks for wishing me luck on the test. : )

**Krzynkooky_- _**Glad ya liked the story : )

**xsummerbabyx**- If I were a rich man, ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum if I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich,  
yidle-diddle-didle-didle man. I love that song too :-D. Glad ya liked the story : )

**TheFrogFromHell**- I like your pen name :D. Glad ya liked the story so much.

**JellybeanBliss**- :-) yeah, they should get gross after years of not washing them. Wow, you actually liked the no-one-will-review-thing? I didn't think anyone would. Cool. And no, I don't know who Win is.

**ThePhantomIt14**- :-) happy ya liked it so much

A/N 2- Ok, I'm going to warn you now- I have pretty much totally run out of ideas. This chapter sucks. I only wrote it 'cause it's the summer and I have nothing better to do. If you don't want to read a really bad chapter, then go read something else. Or, if you're bored like I am, you can read it anyway. Whatever.

Chapter 4: The Chapter in Which I am Running Out of Ideas, Big-time

Lena got to her hotel room late that night. She flopped down on her queen-sized bed and closed her eyes. The next thing she knew, it was morning. The sun was shining brightly through her window. She looked at the clock. 7:00. She groaned, pulled the blanket back over her head, and went back to sleep. It was way too early.

At 10:00, she woke up again. Then, with a start, she remembered. The moldy pants. She groaned.

The girls had all decided before they left that they should each wear the pants a minimum of 5 times on their trips. They did this to make sure that none of them wimped out and only wore the malodorous pants once, and then not wear them at all after that. Lena planned to get that over with as quickly as possible, and then get back to normal clothes. She had worn them once already on the plane. One down, four to go.

Lena back the blankets and hopped out of bed. She put on a light purple tank top, and.. the pants. In some patches, the material had turned a vile shade of green. Lena shuddered. Then she ran a comb through her hair and applied her make-up. _Hey_, she thought, _I may as well look good, even if my pants don't._

Lena mentally prepared herself for the stares and odd reactions that she knew she was going to get, and walked out of the hotel. She was going to go to a club she had heard about. As she walked, she got stares from people.

Lena arrived at the club. She walked in and took a seat by the bar. "I'll have a Pepsi Twist", she told the bartender. She received her drink, and began scanning the room for guys. Her eyes settled on a tall, broad shouldered guy, with long, dark brown hair. She smiled to herself. Bingo. She sashayed over to where he was standing.

"Hello", she purred. The boy looked at her. Lena could see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he looked first at her face, then at her torso.. and then it turned into a frown as his eyes settled on her pants. "Um.. hi", he said.

"So, are you doing anything later?", Lena asked.

"Um.. listen, I'd totally date you if you weren't wearing those freaky pants", he said, and then escaped to the opposite side of the place. Lena sighed.

A/N- I think I'm going to end the story there, 'cause I don't have any more ideas. I know this chapter probably sucked, but oh well.


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